The downside of coming out here alone is even more loneliness than before. I still have my dear friends who I can call or text, but it's not the same as actually seeing them face-to-face. It's been demonstrated repeatedly that people need physical human contact in order to thrive, and I'm feeling that lack. Just rubbing elbows or getting a hug is such an important part of life. I am making friends, but it's a slow process. I'm not even talking about a "relationship" - I didn't have that back in Chicagoland anyway. I'm talking about relationships - friendships. People to whom I can say, "I'm stressing and I just need someone to talk with, to be with." I'm not very good at making and keeping friends, although I am doing much better than I used to. At least I know that I need it; there was a time when I thought I didn't. I still remember wanting to be a disembodied brain, like on that one Star Trek video.
I'm stressing about money - my old bank account (which should have been closed by now) and my need to get my prescription filled and not knowing how to pay for it. I should have ordered it online, but I let time get away from me. Now I have to go do it at Walmart and I'd rather go anywhere than Walmart. Stress, stress, stress!!! I know - to most people those are little things, but I know how to turn any little thing (especially if it has to do with money) into an end-of-the-world scenario.
Just keep repeating: "This too will pass."
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