Questions

One of the things we were supposed to do in Michael Day's Intro to Doc Studies was to keep a list of questions.  I never really felt like I had any questions, but I just realized that's because I try to get my questions answered as soon as they come up, so they don't stay questions. 

But I'm in the middle of reading an article and I don't want to forget this question:  Is an abstract part of the article (like an intro) or should the article stand alone, without the abstract.  I'd always assumed it was the later, but the article I am in the middle of seems to assume it's an intro to the paper.  I'll look it up later.

And regarding the concept of questions - as I said, I don't hold onto questions any longer than I have to.  The internet is a wonderful thing - so much factual info can be had so quickly.  Which is why I like deeper questions - puzzles with no obvious answer.  So I don't carry around questions - I get them answered even if I have to talk to people to do it - but I do carry fears.  Lots of fears!  But that's a subject for another day.

Met someone

OK - I'm not lonely anymore cuz I've been hanging out with Craig Johnson of Centennial.  He lives in a yurt that he built with his own hands twenty years ago.  It's been up-graded since then - has electricity and running water, and new this winter - forced air heat.  So that's why I haven't been around much - he's been occupying my free time.  But now I'm trying to get work done for the end of the semester, so I'm home alone working.

Still lonesome

Well, I took care of the things that were stressing me, but I'm still lonesome.  I've never been good at making new friends - somethings never change. 

Lonesome

The downside of coming out here alone is even more loneliness than before.  I still have my dear friends who I can call or text, but it's not the same as actually seeing them face-to-face.  It's been demonstrated repeatedly that people need physical human contact in order to thrive, and I'm feeling that lack.  Just rubbing elbows or getting a hug is such an important part of life.  I am making friends, but it's a slow process.  I'm not even talking about a "relationship" - I didn't have that back in Chicagoland anyway.  I'm talking about relationships - friendships.  People to whom I can say, "I'm stressing and I just need someone to talk with, to be with."  I'm not very good at making and keeping friends, although I am doing much better than I used to.  At least I know that I need it; there was a time when I thought I didn't.  I still remember wanting to be a disembodied brain, like on that one Star Trek video.

I'm stressing about money - my old bank account (which should have been closed by now) and my need to get my prescription filled and not knowing how to pay for it.  I should have ordered it online, but I let time get away from me.  Now I have to go do it at Walmart and I'd rather go anywhere than Walmart.  Stress, stress, stress!!!  I know - to most people those are little things, but I know how to turn any little thing (especially if it has to do with money) into an end-of-the-world scenario.

Just keep repeating:  "This too will pass."

My Topic?

OK - this is my first attempt to verbally articulate my thoughts on my dissertation.  First some background.

We traditionally say that Physics is the Hardest Science, Chemistry and Biology are Hard Sciences and Psychology, Sociology, Education, etc are called Soft Sciences.  Of course some people think that refers to the difficulty of the material, but actually it refers to the expected rigor applied with regards to the "scientific method."  (OMG!  I'm writing like a researcher.  Yuck!  But I think I've figured out why - more on that later).

OK - so my thought is that these are in backwards order.  Most people think Physics is the most difficult because it uses Calculus (oooo!  scary!).  But actually Physics uses fairly simple formulas to model fairly simple systems subject to relatively easily-controlled, relatively easily-measured forces.  Traditional chemistry (as taught in my High School in the 70's) didn't use much more than arithmetic and geometry; while Biology just used basic observation and classification (which is math - at the early elementary level).  (Of course my Biology class just had to listen to my soon-to-retire teacher discuss his financial plans - but that's another story.)  So some people think the relative hardness is related to the necessary mathematics.  The "soft" sciences just use that "soft" math of Statistics.  But Statistics is actually something that comes after Calculus.  However it is taught at a Freshman/Sophomore college level as an introductory course because so many people need to use it.  People need to know how to interpret statistical reports and evaluate statistical arguments in everything from political science and law to medicine and education, even if they don't understand the theoretical math.  Everything is supposed to be supported by research and research means Statistics.

Chemistry stuff is harder to measure than rolling a canon ball and a marble down an incline, and biology is still harder.  These are hard to measure and model mathematically because they are made of so many "moving parts", so to speak.  I can prove both spheres hit the ground at the same time regardless of temperature, barometric pressure, humidity, or anything so confusing as people.  As science gets "softer," it is studying more complex systems.  Then suddenly (10 or 20 years ago?), someone did the impossible - mapped the human genome.  (I'll admit that most of what I know about DNA analysis came from various forms of fiction - TV, movies and murder/suspense mysteries.  I love Robin Cook & Tess Gerristern.)  Anyway, that DNA stuff took an awful lot of math and computer stuff (programming).  So now I'm thinking along the lines of what comes after - arithmetic, algebra, geometry, analysis, calculus, probability (& statistics), . . .  What comes next?  Well, I've always consumed info, especially when it comes in popular media, so I know the answer.  There's topology & differential geometry (they were around popular back in the day).  Then came Game Theory, Fractals, Fuzzy Logic, and Chaos Theory.  There may be more, but those are the ones I've read about.  I know a very little about fractals and fuzzy logic; I need to learn the basics of game theory & chaos theory.  But what I do know about these fields is that they are useful in modelling complex systems - like a classroom!

So now I'm there.  I'm scanning papers for good background on how these various models have been used on complex systems, including social systems (dang, mustn't forget the social networks & that math).  There's one or two on education so the background does exist.  This could be serious, breakthrough stuff.  Scary! Seriously scary!!!

First Day of Classes - 8/23/11

OMG!  It’s better than I ever could have imagined!  I’m taking 3 courses and 2 seminars, except they’re all really seminars – a bunch of people sitting around a table talking about a common subject.  Four out of five are Intro courses – Intro to Doc Studies, Intro to Research in Ed, Orientation to the Math Ed PhD program, and a Research seminar (we’re preparing for a big meeting of the PME).  The final course is Larry’s Principles and Methods for Integrated Approaches to Teaching and Learning Mathematics and Science.  We’re going to be writing Lesson Resources which is like very elaborate lesson plans.  I’ll be writing papers and/or making presentations in all of my classes.  The main emphasis of this semester is to focus on a research topic.  In addition I’m expecting to develop a support network and re-establish my writing skills (esp. citations).  I’ve got an entire 4 to 6 months to focus on only that.  What an incredible opportunity!  I am so glad I decide to partake in this little bit of insanity.

My Schedule

I've got my schedule.  Classes on TWTh, starting at 3 or 3:30 and ending by 9.  It doesn't get any better than that!  Eleven credits all together - three courses and two seminars.  All education this semester, no math classes.  Lots of reading and writing I expect.  So far only one class has a required textbook but I can't afford it until I get my summer pay (which I'm still waiting for!).  But it'll all work out.

I also got groceries - what a workout.  Carrying stuff really winds you up here (over 7000 feet).  I've walked over an hour every day so far and I'm losing weight - but I don't know how much because I forgot to pack my scale (doofus).  Steak here is awesome and incredibly cheap (relatively).  There's no tax on groceries (not even soda pop) and there's no state income tax.  I love it!

Settling In

My apartment is adorable.  It's got one or two windows in each direction and I get plenty of natural light.  It helps that it's sunny nearly every day.  I'm in the basement and when you come down the stairs, there's a laundry area with washer & dryer.  A pair of french doors open into my living area.  It's set-up as an open doughnut, with the furnace and water heater in the hole.  First is living area, then you turn the corner onto the sleeping area.  Next is the sink and then the toilet/shower has doors to separate it from the open space.  Finally you come to the kitchen - a very nice open space with a built-in breakfast bar (chairs included!).  So actually it's Q shaped - the kitchen is the tail, and has 2 windows.  It's plenty spacious but a little light on storage space - I think I'll put up a spice rack on the wall and I'm thinking about a ceiling storage system for wine glasses - I don't have a lot of them, but they need to go somewhere.  The bathroom/kitchen area is tiled right on the concrete and the living/sleeping area is raised slightly and carpeted.  It's just perfect for my needs.  And then on top of everything - officially, I get the garage.  (My upstairs neighbors get the driveway.)  So there's space for my skis, camping gear, etc.  But I'm not buying anything new until my debts are paid off !

Financially I'm much better off.  I don't have internet or cable yet, and I'm not even going to look into it until the end of September.  I'll get paid once a month, Sept 30 through May 30.  I'll sock away 1/3 each month to cover the summer, but if I get summer work then I'll actually have some savings for emergencies.  In addition I should be able to put some money towards reducing my indebtedness.  I'm planning to check into credit counseling or bill consolidation.  If things go well and I'm able to teach in the summers, I might just be debt-free by the time I graduate!  Who ever heard of going to college to get out of debt?!?

Fortunately campus is one very short block from my place.  I met one of my upstairs neighbors on my way out this morning - Michelina.  They've a cute young couple, not yet married - she's an elementary school teacher looking for work and he's starting his Pharm D.  I offered garage space for storage & help prepping math lessons and asked if she'd let me come when they're going grocery shopping.  I think we're going to get along just fine.

I'm moving in slowly.  I walked to KMart yesterday for shampoo, laundry detergent & toilet paper.  It's about a 15 - 20 min walk.  There's a Safeway there also.  In the other direction is Albertson's - haven't done that one yet.  Tomorrow I'm doing official grad asst paperwork and meeting Larry to pick my classes.  In between I'm unpacking and organizing.  I'm hoping to have downsized enough that I'll be able to keep things relatively neat.  Having an office to go to will also help tremendously.

8/11/11; 3:25 pm Thermopolis Middle School

Slightly over half an hour to go till the end of today’s session.  I’ve spent most of the last two days writing up assessments (13 of them).  I need a lot more practice, especially on writing word problems.  I usually know what I want to ask, but I get stuck on inventing the situation.  I tend to just use the same things over and over again.  On the positive side, I am extremely adept with Word which helps a lot and makes everything look very professional.  The next step for me is to collect all the feedback and make the modifications.  Eventually I will have some undergrads to supervise, but for now it’s all me.  Actually I find it very stimulating. 

It’s wonderful to just sit back and listen to Linda and Larry talk.  I am immersed in the idea of teaching mathematics from counting to calculus.  They rattle off both the new and the old Standards of Practice off the tops of their heads – I’d forgotten they’d even been revised.  My brain is bursting and I’m so happy.  God, I’m a nerd!  Or should I say, Thank God I’m a Nerd!

The Big Move

I am in Thermopolis, Wyoming, and I am completely exhausted, but I needed to make a post.  I have not posted all summer, because it was all about doubts, confusion, "when am I going to get my money," and general overwhelmingness.

I got in my Budget rental truck at about 4:30 on Sunday, August 7, which also just happened to be my fiftieth birthday (the big five-oh!).  It was such an awesome, freeing drive.  The best way to see Iowa and Nebraska is at night.  Ten minutes of either one and you've see the whole thing.  And what a wonderful opportunity to think!  I realized that I've lived my life along the I-80 corridor, from San Francisco to NY and many points between.  I wonder if there's a book in there somewhere.  OK - maybe too much time to think.  Anyway - I just drove straight through except for my 3 hour nap in western Nebraska when a major thunderstorm blew through, and I got into Laramie at 1 pm on Monday morning.

My new apartment is incredibly cute!  I've got to figure out how to take and post pictures.  I'll ask Gaby.  Anyway - it's got a kitchen, a living space, sleeping space, sink, toilet & shower.  Except for the toilet/shower, everything is open in a kind of doughnut shape.  The hole of the doughnut contains the heating & hot water systems for the house.  I've got the basement.  And I'm only a block and a half from the campus, 2 1/2 from my office.  Location, location, location.

I spent Monday afternoon unloading the truck and then I collapsed for the night.  I got woken by a phone call at 8am for an early morning meeting.  I was able to get there from a dead sleep in less than 45 minutes.  I couldn't help thinking, "This is where I belong."  Linda and Larry were discussing the agenda for the next three days and I understood every word.  Somehow talking about constructivism and modeling was perfectly natural.  I was actually able to participate and enhance the discussion.  I am exactly where I am supposed to be at this point in my life.  Wow!

And now I'm in Thermopolis.  I need to sleep because we start early.  And just to make life interesting - I've got seven tests to write tomorrow while also participating in the session.  There's nothing quite like hitting the ground running!

Going Away

I am starting my PhD in Math Education this Fall at the University of Wyoming in Laramie, WY.  I’m “the Graduate Assistant” on a grant written by my mentor, Dr. Linda Hutchinson, and my advisor, Dr. Larry Hatfield.   We will be working with all the teachers of math in Thermopolis, WY – trying to improve their effectiveness in teaching math.  I’ve been a very good teacher since I started 10 years ago, and it is my goal to help improve classroom practices.  There is so much excellent research on how to teach math effectively, but it doesn’t generally hit the practice of those already in the classroom.  This grant program lets me to start making an impact immediately and my degree will enable me to continue this work – either through a University program or privately.

 I spent a week with Linda in Thermopolis at the beginning of June.  Our next session is 3 days in mid-August, so I’m moving out there at that time.  While the Missouri Synod is big out there, the chapel on campus is ELCA, so I expect I’ll worship there, at least at the beginning.  I’m still not sure where I’ll be living, but I’m working on it.  My last day at Immanuel will be August 7, which also happens to be my 50^th birthday, so I will be hosting coffee hour and bringing my daughters, M and G.  This fall M will be in her 4^th year of a 5 year program in Occupational Therapy at University Buffalo, and G will be a Freshman in Art School at Herron College (part of IUPUI) in Indianapolis.  We will all be University students at the same time.  We expect M to graduate in 2013, me in 2014, and G in 2015 – a very academic family.

 I could never have accomplished what I’ve done these past few years without the support of Immanuel Lutheran Church in Evanston.  In the lyrics to the show Cheers, “Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name, and they’re always glad you came.”  For me that is Immanuel Lutheran Church.

 -Deborah Logan